A Canadian in China (Part 1)
At 55 years of age, my life and work in Canada had come to a real dead end and I desperately needed one more big change so I enquired about teaching English in Asia. I have a Bachelor of Arts degree and I completed a course in teaching English as a second language. The college where I took this course set me up with a teaching job in a somewhat remote part of China....remote but very beautiful...on the sea.
It was a very scary thing for me to do at this stage in my life and I was, needless to say, very nervous.
The school where I am teaching, a senior middle school, provides me with an apartment...which is brand new. It wasn't quite ready upon my arrival in this small town (the Chinese call this a small town....700,000 pop.) so I had to stay in a hotel my first night. Attached to the hotel is a small Western style bar/bistro which I went into on my first morning for a cup of coffee.
Upon entering this "bistro", the first thing I noticed was my waiter...a really cute, tall, slim, young Chinese boy. Instant crush!! I couldn't keep my eyes off him...he was gorgeous. I had my "Columbian" coffee and had to leave when I was picked up by some school staff...had to go shopping with them to get the things I would need to set up my apartment. I hated to leave this beautiful young boy...learned later that he is 18 yrs. old but, counting the years as we do at home, he is really only 17.
When we had finished our shopping and the staff left me alone in my new apartment, I went right back to that bar...to have a beer but, mostly to see this gorgeous kid. I was praying that he would still be there....he was. He was working behind the bar so I sat up at the bar with him and tried to talk to him. He had very very little English so we really could not communicate but he was very very friendly, smiling his beautiful smile all the time.
It has always been my habit at home to go out to a pub with friends for a beer or two after work before going home and I had every intention of doing the same here. I quickly learned that this bar/bistro type place was the only "bar" in town. Luckily it is not far from my apartment and I did not mind it being the only bar as long as that cute kid was there. I began to frequent the place, almost daily...just for 2 or 3 beers. I always sit up at the bar and all of the staff come to me and try to communicate. I learned, in my first couple of days, that I am the only foreigner in this town and so it seems that I am a bit of a celebrity...at least a real novelty. We discovered that some of the staff could read and write a little bit of English, including Mr. gorgeous so we began communicating by writing our questions, answers and comments and this was working quite well, along with the help of a dictionary.
My crush on this kid kept getting stronger and each day I looked forward to "chatting" with him. He was trying very hard to learn some English and was doing quite well. After about two weeks, I noticed, for the first time, that he smokes. He cannot smoke when he is working but he has now taken to sitting with me when he if finished work. When I saw that he smoked...I said he was a bad boy...for smoking. Some of the other staff heard this and began to call him "Bad Boy". A short time later, I noticed that all the guys in this place smoke.
After getting to know all the staff quite well, they all asked me to give them English names which I did. I thought, by now, that "Bad Boy" should have a proper name but he declined saying that he really likes his name. Now, four months later he is still called "Bad Boy" still insisting that he wants no other name.
As time went on and we all seemed to become good friends, I invited three of them to my home. My new apartment is a two bedroom with a large den, or computer room we are calling it. By Chinese standards I guess it is quite beautiful. By our Western standards it is far from luxurious but certainly is more than adequate. Bad Boy, another boy and one of the girls came over and stayed only about an hour or so. A while later, a couple of others came, along with Bad Boy. I had, obviously, paid a little (or a lot) more attention to Bad Boy and he was becoming a very special friend and I continued to have a huge crush on him.
One day, I invited Bad Boy to come to my home...by himself. He readily accepted the invitation. We had just a couple of beers and he played music and games on the computer. I told Bad Boy that he was welcome to stay the night. He seemed happy to accept this invitation. At about 11:00 p.m. I prepared to go to bed. He asked where he was to sleep...pointing to the couch?? I said no...he should come to my bed because I had no extra blanket for him. He agreed, but did not come to bed when I did.
I really should add here, that Bad Boy was very affectionate with me....holding my hand often, hugging often and holding his hand on my knee. At first I really thought this must be sexual...it certainly would be at home. However, he held my hand very openly and publicly at his work place, in the streets and in my home. I had also noticed that boys and men show much more affection to each other than they do at home and so maybe this behavior was a Chinese thing so I did not hold great hope of being able to be sexual with Bad Boy though I would very much love to be able to be sexual. My crush on him was not diminishing. He is so very cute, really nice and is learning English quite well. I totally ache for this guy and, when not teaching, find myself thinking of him all the time.
So, back to my home for Bad Boy's first overnight visit. I went to bed at about 11:00 p.m. I had to work the next morning and he did not. Bad Boy did not come to my room until around 2:00 a.m. I was sound asleep when he came to my side of my big double bed. He had stripped to his briefs and was crawling in beside me....but, on my side of the bed!!!! I was right on the edge with lots of room on the other side. His coming to my side, where there was no room at all was most encouraging. I had him crawl over me because I needed to be next to the alarm clock.
Once he got over my, he turned to me, throwing his arms around me and resting his gorgeous head on my chest. I simply could not believe this was happening. I could not believe that here was this kid....this kid I had been lusting after for almost two months since my very first day in this town...was in my bed, almost naked, arms around me, head on my chest. Totally unbelievable ...I was in ecstasy and was, of course, returning the affection with my heart racing with the excitement and joy of having this beautiful boy in my arms, in my bed.. I did not want this moment to end....ever
Bad Boy had often spoken of his serious crush on one of the girls with whom he works. She, for reasons I could never understand, is not interested in any more than friendship with Bad Boy and he often expresses his great disappointment and frustration. I also know, quite certainly, that Bad Boy is a virgin.
Here I am, in this glorious position in my bed with this most beautiful kid in my arms. If this were happening in Canada, I would have moved right on to the next level and gone to his crotch. I was not, however, certain that this was sexual. I had a strong feeling that Bad Boy is quite straight and that this enormous show of affection was just that....purely plutonic affection so I controlled myself and decided to make no further move on him. I resolved, at least for this time, to not jeopardize this wonderful and amazing relationship. I feared that any real sexual advance might offend him and destroy what I had. If I could never touch or suck his cock, I would relish this cuddling, holding and hugging as I hoped that this would happen very very often...it was so heavenly.
I knew it would be impossible for me to sleep with this boy snuggled up to me the way he was...it was far too exciting and enjoyable so, finally, I took a piece of Kleenex in my left hand and, barely touching my own huge erection, I exploded. I was so excited, It took nothing for me to cum and I am sure that Bad Boy would not have known what I had done, even if he was wide awake (which he wasn't).
Having dealt with my own excitement, I finally drifted off to sleep with Bad Boy still in my arms. At one point in the night, I found myself with my face right in one of Bad Boy's arm pits with that lovely little bit of arm pit hair right in my nose and my left hand fondling one of his little nipples. I just loved every inch of this gorgeous body and hoped that I could hold him like this every night.
The next time Bad Boy stayed over night was aprox. a week later. Again, I went to bed at about 11:00 p.m. with great anticipation. Like the first time, Bad Boy finally came to bed at about 2:00 am...he loves playing on the computer. This time, however, he climbed into the other side of the bed and was now wearing those damn long johns that all the men and boys seem to wear here in China so he was totally covered...much to my disappointment. I awoke when he climbed into bed and put my hand on his head. He was fine but he did not put his arms around me as he had done on the first night. He just lay there as I caressed his head and responded very little. We both drifted off to sleep...me very disappointed.
Later in the night Bad Boy was on his back very close to me I decided this time to do a little exploration and slowly edged my right hand toward his crotch. (I hadn't done this sort of thing since I was in high school). When I reached his crotch, I could plainly feel an erection under the long johns. I left my hand on his erect cock, waiting to see if he would move. He did not. I began to squeeze, ever so gently...he still did not move. I squeezed a bit harder and he did not move. I moved my hand up and down a bit and he still did not move. I finally decided I had the green light and I put my hand inside his long johns. He was wearing his briefs under the long johns and both were fairly tight fitting so I sort of had to dig my way through two pairs of underwear to reach his cock. Being fairly tight fitting, I thought that he would not sleep through this invasion of his underwear and I was sure he was awake. I was inside his underwear and was just beginning to hold on to his cock...his pubic hair felt so soft. This was a surprise. I have never been with a Chinese person before...maybe this is the way they all are?? Pubic hair that seemed so much softer than others?? Anyway, I held his cock in my hand for a very short period of time...probably less than a minute when he rolled away.
I gathered that his move away was a "no". I was so disappointed and hoped he would not be pissed off at me for what I had done. A short time later he rolled back to me...again he was on his back right up to my right side. I wondered if maybe he decided that he might like this so I checked again...and, sure enough...still a nice hard erection under the underwear. Taking this as an invitation, I went back into his underwear and grabbed his hard cock. Being very hard, I could not tell if he was cut or not. His cock felt so nice..it was not thick but seemed to be fairly long...but not large in any respect. It felt so great....I was so excited..he was not moving away...I was just dripping pre-cum. I held his cock for a while then began to move my hand up and down. I felt and enjoyed his nice soft pubic hair then got real bold and reached down further into his two pairs of underwear to explore his balls. His balls felt so good...quite small , quite beautiful. I couldn't stand the excitement any longer and, with my right hand still gripping his rigid cock, I reached with my left hand for the Kleenex and , like the first time, shot my load into my left hand having hardly even touched my cock head...I was so damned excited...more than I had been in many many years. Lying in my bed with this kid whom I had been adoring since first seeing him, now with his hard cock in my hand. So unbelievable and so lucky. I couldn't believe my luck. Even after cumming, I continued to hold and caress his cock. I thought it would be very unfair to stop just because I had cum....assuming he was enjoying the attention. Finally, he again rolled over and away from me. I didn't know then or now if he did like the sex play or if he might really have been asleep and was now pissed off with me. I just didn't know and I worried a lot about how he might be feeling about me.
I let two days pass then went to the bar. I was very very nervous as I feared that he may have told the others that I was a fucking fag and that I had molested him etc. etc. I was so apprehensive as I went into the bar but, much to my relief and delight, he came to me in his usual friendly way and stood with me at the bar. I took his hand and held it as we did so often. He held my hand and chatted normally....the other staff were all their usual friendly selves so it seemed that all was fine. I had a couple beers and went home totally relieved...and elated, that Bad Boy seemed just fine. Now I am wondering when and if we will "play" again.
Two days later, I went to the bar again. Bad Boy finished work then came over to me and started to speak to me very softly and quietly. He started out saying that I was a nice man and I had a very nice home but he (and he looked in the dictionary coming up with a Chinese word that translated to mean "not fit, not suitable")....So...saying that I was a nice man and that I had a very nice home but he was "not fit , not suitable" for me and that he would not come to my home again. He said that maybe sometime he would come again with some of the other staff but that he would not come again, by himself.
Never have I ever been so humiliated, so embarrassed, so ashamed, so devastated. I knew exactly what he was trying to say and I felt almost like my life was over. As I write this now, I can relive the most horrible feelings have ever felt. I could never go back into that bar again and face Bad Boy...or any of the others. That place was almost all of my social life. I couldn't believe how foolish I was and how I just destroyed what was becoming a beautiful friendship with this most beautiful boy. I finished my beer quickly , said good bye to the rest as politely as I could in the circumstances and headed home. (Bad Boy had gone home after his little talk)
Never will I forget how utterly shattered and devastated I felt as I walked home. Thinking what a monster I am ...that this boy is afraid to come to my home by himself. I just cannot describe how horrible I felt. I did not know how I would ever get over this...how I could carry on with my life here in this town in China. I didn't know what to do or how I was going to ever get over this....it must truly be the worst experience in my many years of life.
I was not home more than one hour when there was a knock at my door. There he was.!!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. Never was I ever so happy to see someone in my entire life. He stood there saying he was sorry. "No", I said. "I am sorry!. I am the one who was bad". He said "No, no, no...you are not bad..you are good...etc" We hugged, I almost cried telling him over and over again and again how sorry I am and how happy I was to see him.
Approximately two months or more has passed since that terrible night. Bad Boy comes to my home very regularly and now considers it his second home. We work two shifts: one from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm and one from 5:30 to 2:00 am. When he works the day shift, he comes from work to my home pretty well every day. When he is on the night shift, he will come to my home on Saturdays and Sundays when I am home. He helps me with my shopping, plays on the computer and then has a nap on my couch for an hour before going to work.
When he stays overnight when he is on the day shift, he sleeps on the couch. Of course he is invited to my bed and I told him I would be good but he says my room is too cold for him and he likes the couch. My room is very cold (the way I like it of course) but I am sure that is not the real reason he will not come to my room. If I thought that was the real reason, I would close my window and turn the heat on.....but I will not push it now. I recently bought an air bed and set it up in the empty room. He slept in there only once and was back on the couch..again saying that the spare room was too cold..so...maybe??? Now we have moved the air bed into the computer room..or den and he now sleeps there .
I love having Bad Boy around as I love him dearly. I would love to sleep with him and caress, stroke and kiss every inch of his body. He is still this major major turn on because he is sooooo attractive and so, it can be somewhat frustrating having him around and not being able to do any more than our usual affection. But, I would rather have him around as it is than to not have him around at all. I love him so much....I am trying to feel more like a father to him now and trying to put any notions of sex with him out of my mind but would dearly love to feel his naked body and suck his cock. I haven't even seen his cock...only felt it that one night.
Why did he allow me to molest him?? Was he awake?? Did he enjoy it?? If he did not like it and felt that he did not want to come back...why did he come back??? Will I ever be able to touch him "there" again? Should I talk to him about it? How can I let him know that he can be totally straight and still enjoy a little sexual touching from a loving man?? How does he feel about sex?? Should I leave well enough alone???
These are the burning questions I have. Does anyone have any insights or suggestions?? I love Bad Boy.
It was a very scary thing for me to do at this stage in my life and I was, needless to say, very nervous.
The school where I am teaching, a senior middle school, provides me with an apartment...which is brand new. It wasn't quite ready upon my arrival in this small town (the Chinese call this a small town....700,000 pop.) so I had to stay in a hotel my first night. Attached to the hotel is a small Western style bar/bistro which I went into on my first morning for a cup of coffee.
Upon entering this "bistro", the first thing I noticed was my waiter...a really cute, tall, slim, young Chinese boy. Instant crush!! I couldn't keep my eyes off him...he was gorgeous. I had my "Columbian" coffee and had to leave when I was picked up by some school staff...had to go shopping with them to get the things I would need to set up my apartment. I hated to leave this beautiful young boy...learned later that he is 18 yrs. old but, counting the years as we do at home, he is really only 17.
When we had finished our shopping and the staff left me alone in my new apartment, I went right back to that bar...to have a beer but, mostly to see this gorgeous kid. I was praying that he would still be there....he was. He was working behind the bar so I sat up at the bar with him and tried to talk to him. He had very very little English so we really could not communicate but he was very very friendly, smiling his beautiful smile all the time.
It has always been my habit at home to go out to a pub with friends for a beer or two after work before going home and I had every intention of doing the same here. I quickly learned that this bar/bistro type place was the only "bar" in town. Luckily it is not far from my apartment and I did not mind it being the only bar as long as that cute kid was there. I began to frequent the place, almost daily...just for 2 or 3 beers. I always sit up at the bar and all of the staff come to me and try to communicate. I learned, in my first couple of days, that I am the only foreigner in this town and so it seems that I am a bit of a celebrity...at least a real novelty. We discovered that some of the staff could read and write a little bit of English, including Mr. gorgeous so we began communicating by writing our questions, answers and comments and this was working quite well, along with the help of a dictionary.
My crush on this kid kept getting stronger and each day I looked forward to "chatting" with him. He was trying very hard to learn some English and was doing quite well. After about two weeks, I noticed, for the first time, that he smokes. He cannot smoke when he is working but he has now taken to sitting with me when he if finished work. When I saw that he smoked...I said he was a bad boy...for smoking. Some of the other staff heard this and began to call him "Bad Boy". A short time later, I noticed that all the guys in this place smoke.
After getting to know all the staff quite well, they all asked me to give them English names which I did. I thought, by now, that "Bad Boy" should have a proper name but he declined saying that he really likes his name. Now, four months later he is still called "Bad Boy" still insisting that he wants no other name.
As time went on and we all seemed to become good friends, I invited three of them to my home. My new apartment is a two bedroom with a large den, or computer room we are calling it. By Chinese standards I guess it is quite beautiful. By our Western standards it is far from luxurious but certainly is more than adequate. Bad Boy, another boy and one of the girls came over and stayed only about an hour or so. A while later, a couple of others came, along with Bad Boy. I had, obviously, paid a little (or a lot) more attention to Bad Boy and he was becoming a very special friend and I continued to have a huge crush on him.
One day, I invited Bad Boy to come to my home...by himself. He readily accepted the invitation. We had just a couple of beers and he played music and games on the computer. I told Bad Boy that he was welcome to stay the night. He seemed happy to accept this invitation. At about 11:00 p.m. I prepared to go to bed. He asked where he was to sleep...pointing to the couch?? I said no...he should come to my bed because I had no extra blanket for him. He agreed, but did not come to bed when I did.
I really should add here, that Bad Boy was very affectionate with me....holding my hand often, hugging often and holding his hand on my knee. At first I really thought this must be sexual...it certainly would be at home. However, he held my hand very openly and publicly at his work place, in the streets and in my home. I had also noticed that boys and men show much more affection to each other than they do at home and so maybe this behavior was a Chinese thing so I did not hold great hope of being able to be sexual with Bad Boy though I would very much love to be able to be sexual. My crush on him was not diminishing. He is so very cute, really nice and is learning English quite well. I totally ache for this guy and, when not teaching, find myself thinking of him all the time.
So, back to my home for Bad Boy's first overnight visit. I went to bed at about 11:00 p.m. I had to work the next morning and he did not. Bad Boy did not come to my room until around 2:00 a.m. I was sound asleep when he came to my side of my big double bed. He had stripped to his briefs and was crawling in beside me....but, on my side of the bed!!!! I was right on the edge with lots of room on the other side. His coming to my side, where there was no room at all was most encouraging. I had him crawl over me because I needed to be next to the alarm clock.
Once he got over my, he turned to me, throwing his arms around me and resting his gorgeous head on my chest. I simply could not believe this was happening. I could not believe that here was this kid....this kid I had been lusting after for almost two months since my very first day in this town...was in my bed, almost naked, arms around me, head on my chest. Totally unbelievable ...I was in ecstasy and was, of course, returning the affection with my heart racing with the excitement and joy of having this beautiful boy in my arms, in my bed.. I did not want this moment to end....ever
Bad Boy had often spoken of his serious crush on one of the girls with whom he works. She, for reasons I could never understand, is not interested in any more than friendship with Bad Boy and he often expresses his great disappointment and frustration. I also know, quite certainly, that Bad Boy is a virgin.
Here I am, in this glorious position in my bed with this most beautiful kid in my arms. If this were happening in Canada, I would have moved right on to the next level and gone to his crotch. I was not, however, certain that this was sexual. I had a strong feeling that Bad Boy is quite straight and that this enormous show of affection was just that....purely plutonic affection so I controlled myself and decided to make no further move on him. I resolved, at least for this time, to not jeopardize this wonderful and amazing relationship. I feared that any real sexual advance might offend him and destroy what I had. If I could never touch or suck his cock, I would relish this cuddling, holding and hugging as I hoped that this would happen very very often...it was so heavenly.
I knew it would be impossible for me to sleep with this boy snuggled up to me the way he was...it was far too exciting and enjoyable so, finally, I took a piece of Kleenex in my left hand and, barely touching my own huge erection, I exploded. I was so excited, It took nothing for me to cum and I am sure that Bad Boy would not have known what I had done, even if he was wide awake (which he wasn't).
Having dealt with my own excitement, I finally drifted off to sleep with Bad Boy still in my arms. At one point in the night, I found myself with my face right in one of Bad Boy's arm pits with that lovely little bit of arm pit hair right in my nose and my left hand fondling one of his little nipples. I just loved every inch of this gorgeous body and hoped that I could hold him like this every night.
The next time Bad Boy stayed over night was aprox. a week later. Again, I went to bed at about 11:00 p.m. with great anticipation. Like the first time, Bad Boy finally came to bed at about 2:00 am...he loves playing on the computer. This time, however, he climbed into the other side of the bed and was now wearing those damn long johns that all the men and boys seem to wear here in China so he was totally covered...much to my disappointment. I awoke when he climbed into bed and put my hand on his head. He was fine but he did not put his arms around me as he had done on the first night. He just lay there as I caressed his head and responded very little. We both drifted off to sleep...me very disappointed.
Later in the night Bad Boy was on his back very close to me I decided this time to do a little exploration and slowly edged my right hand toward his crotch. (I hadn't done this sort of thing since I was in high school). When I reached his crotch, I could plainly feel an erection under the long johns. I left my hand on his erect cock, waiting to see if he would move. He did not. I began to squeeze, ever so gently...he still did not move. I squeezed a bit harder and he did not move. I moved my hand up and down a bit and he still did not move. I finally decided I had the green light and I put my hand inside his long johns. He was wearing his briefs under the long johns and both were fairly tight fitting so I sort of had to dig my way through two pairs of underwear to reach his cock. Being fairly tight fitting, I thought that he would not sleep through this invasion of his underwear and I was sure he was awake. I was inside his underwear and was just beginning to hold on to his cock...his pubic hair felt so soft. This was a surprise. I have never been with a Chinese person before...maybe this is the way they all are?? Pubic hair that seemed so much softer than others?? Anyway, I held his cock in my hand for a very short period of time...probably less than a minute when he rolled away.
I gathered that his move away was a "no". I was so disappointed and hoped he would not be pissed off at me for what I had done. A short time later he rolled back to me...again he was on his back right up to my right side. I wondered if maybe he decided that he might like this so I checked again...and, sure enough...still a nice hard erection under the underwear. Taking this as an invitation, I went back into his underwear and grabbed his hard cock. Being very hard, I could not tell if he was cut or not. His cock felt so nice..it was not thick but seemed to be fairly long...but not large in any respect. It felt so great....I was so excited..he was not moving away...I was just dripping pre-cum. I held his cock for a while then began to move my hand up and down. I felt and enjoyed his nice soft pubic hair then got real bold and reached down further into his two pairs of underwear to explore his balls. His balls felt so good...quite small , quite beautiful. I couldn't stand the excitement any longer and, with my right hand still gripping his rigid cock, I reached with my left hand for the Kleenex and , like the first time, shot my load into my left hand having hardly even touched my cock head...I was so damned excited...more than I had been in many many years. Lying in my bed with this kid whom I had been adoring since first seeing him, now with his hard cock in my hand. So unbelievable and so lucky. I couldn't believe my luck. Even after cumming, I continued to hold and caress his cock. I thought it would be very unfair to stop just because I had cum....assuming he was enjoying the attention. Finally, he again rolled over and away from me. I didn't know then or now if he did like the sex play or if he might really have been asleep and was now pissed off with me. I just didn't know and I worried a lot about how he might be feeling about me.
I let two days pass then went to the bar. I was very very nervous as I feared that he may have told the others that I was a fucking fag and that I had molested him etc. etc. I was so apprehensive as I went into the bar but, much to my relief and delight, he came to me in his usual friendly way and stood with me at the bar. I took his hand and held it as we did so often. He held my hand and chatted normally....the other staff were all their usual friendly selves so it seemed that all was fine. I had a couple beers and went home totally relieved...and elated, that Bad Boy seemed just fine. Now I am wondering when and if we will "play" again.
Two days later, I went to the bar again. Bad Boy finished work then came over to me and started to speak to me very softly and quietly. He started out saying that I was a nice man and I had a very nice home but he (and he looked in the dictionary coming up with a Chinese word that translated to mean "not fit, not suitable")....So...saying that I was a nice man and that I had a very nice home but he was "not fit , not suitable" for me and that he would not come to my home again. He said that maybe sometime he would come again with some of the other staff but that he would not come again, by himself.
Never have I ever been so humiliated, so embarrassed, so ashamed, so devastated. I knew exactly what he was trying to say and I felt almost like my life was over. As I write this now, I can relive the most horrible feelings have ever felt. I could never go back into that bar again and face Bad Boy...or any of the others. That place was almost all of my social life. I couldn't believe how foolish I was and how I just destroyed what was becoming a beautiful friendship with this most beautiful boy. I finished my beer quickly , said good bye to the rest as politely as I could in the circumstances and headed home. (Bad Boy had gone home after his little talk)
Never will I forget how utterly shattered and devastated I felt as I walked home. Thinking what a monster I am ...that this boy is afraid to come to my home by himself. I just cannot describe how horrible I felt. I did not know how I would ever get over this...how I could carry on with my life here in this town in China. I didn't know what to do or how I was going to ever get over this....it must truly be the worst experience in my many years of life.
I was not home more than one hour when there was a knock at my door. There he was.!!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. Never was I ever so happy to see someone in my entire life. He stood there saying he was sorry. "No", I said. "I am sorry!. I am the one who was bad". He said "No, no, no...you are not bad..you are good...etc" We hugged, I almost cried telling him over and over again and again how sorry I am and how happy I was to see him.
Approximately two months or more has passed since that terrible night. Bad Boy comes to my home very regularly and now considers it his second home. We work two shifts: one from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm and one from 5:30 to 2:00 am. When he works the day shift, he comes from work to my home pretty well every day. When he is on the night shift, he will come to my home on Saturdays and Sundays when I am home. He helps me with my shopping, plays on the computer and then has a nap on my couch for an hour before going to work.
When he stays overnight when he is on the day shift, he sleeps on the couch. Of course he is invited to my bed and I told him I would be good but he says my room is too cold for him and he likes the couch. My room is very cold (the way I like it of course) but I am sure that is not the real reason he will not come to my room. If I thought that was the real reason, I would close my window and turn the heat on.....but I will not push it now. I recently bought an air bed and set it up in the empty room. He slept in there only once and was back on the couch..again saying that the spare room was too cold..so...maybe??? Now we have moved the air bed into the computer room..or den and he now sleeps there .
I love having Bad Boy around as I love him dearly. I would love to sleep with him and caress, stroke and kiss every inch of his body. He is still this major major turn on because he is sooooo attractive and so, it can be somewhat frustrating having him around and not being able to do any more than our usual affection. But, I would rather have him around as it is than to not have him around at all. I love him so much....I am trying to feel more like a father to him now and trying to put any notions of sex with him out of my mind but would dearly love to feel his naked body and suck his cock. I haven't even seen his cock...only felt it that one night.
Why did he allow me to molest him?? Was he awake?? Did he enjoy it?? If he did not like it and felt that he did not want to come back...why did he come back??? Will I ever be able to touch him "there" again? Should I talk to him about it? How can I let him know that he can be totally straight and still enjoy a little sexual touching from a loving man?? How does he feel about sex?? Should I leave well enough alone???
These are the burning questions I have. Does anyone have any insights or suggestions?? I love Bad Boy.
posted by Kuyuri-GPX at
8:22 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home