Alone Among Friends IX

I wasn't able to move and Georg who also heard Yilmaz statement had freezed aswell. "Nice joke Yilmaz, pretty surprised to hear such a -cool- joke from you," Kevin said mockingly. Jens slowly turned his head towards Kevin. "He is serious - he is nearly always serious," Jens said with a serious tone.

Kevin looked at Jens, then to Yilmaz.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes," Yilmaz said.

"Why do you think that?" Jens asked him.

"Somebody has been using the PC to surf gay sites."

Everybody was quiet now. I hadn't used the PC at all cause I didn't need to, neither Georg needed it. Georg and I looked at each other and we both knew who had used the PC. Daniel had used the PC for his purpose but unfortunately forgot to clear the cache or whatever it was that made Yilmaz notice it. And I would have never thought that any of the guys would be so nosey to sneak around in the cache, or check the history of the browser; apparently I was wrong. So what was Yilmaz problem, why did he need to say that? Couldn't he have ignored it? I was speechless and I was annoyed by him. "God! I can't believe it!" Jens suddenly yelled, breaking the silence. "What.. I can't believe it! Fuck man, who is the fag?!?" Nobody replied and to say the least I was shocked by Jens' reaction. I didn't expect none of those straight guys to react in such a way and I felt fright creeping up my spine. I looked over to Daniel who was dead-pale by now; he looked really sick and I felt awfully bad for him. It hadn't been too long that he accepted himself to be gay and now this.. now somebody had found out something. Georg wasn't looking any better either, but he was trying to compose himself as good as he could. "We have a right to know!!!!!! I wanna know who it is!" Jens yelled.

Kevin was sitting there, with his eyes wide opened and simply mute. He did not say a word. I felt the awkwardness of the situation and how the air in the room was very thick all of a sudden. Time seemed to had a pace of it's own by now and the seconds were stretching to something
longer, to something eternal, and it looked as if with each "second" passing the effect getting worse.

I looked again at Daniel and saw how his eyes were starting to water. It was not something he was able to bear as it seemed, nor was I able to bear seeing him suffering. My head turned back to Georg in an awfully slow pace and it felt as if minutes were passing before the movement was complete; what I saw was despair in his eyes. Jens furious spasms had slowed down to soft slow movements; his jaw was moving in slowmotion and tiny drops of water were catapulted out of his mouth while he was shouting, making the scene look bizarre. I could not hear him properly anymore, his voice was unnatural low and I felt as if everything was comoing to a standstill. This friendly athmosphere which had been created by the six of us, this feeling of home, everything which felt good about this apartment, was at stake. No.. it was not at stake.. it was already lost, and realizing it made me feel numb and bitter. I knew that it was not possible to correct things: what had been said had been said. Now they knew. I saw the faces around me as if it was a still picture, not the real, living and vivid world. I could see how Jens' face was distorted by hatred I hadn't seen in him before, yet didn't even belive he was able to have. I saw Yilmaz's expressionless face, just as ever, as if nothing had been changed, if the words he had said had no effect, as if he was not even there, not related to this at any time. I saw Kevin's face which was noticably clouded by thoughts, thoughts which I feared knowing, which I did not want to know. I saw Daniel's face, a face distorted by fear, and the pain and inner turmoil of feelings which seemed to be the reflection of his soul... and I saw Georg's face. A face trying to cover a secret which was no secret anymore, which had been exposed, but which had not been assigned yet for the holder of the secret was unknown.. i saw a vulnarability in his eyes which made my heart bleed, a vulnerability I had never sensed nor seen in him before. I could see trough the mask he had put on, I could see the turmoil in him, I could see the fear in him and I could see the pain.

Everything was at stake. Something had to be said now, it could not be ignored, the evidence was there, the question was posed. I knew the right thing to do, I knew what I had to do and I felt that it was right. There was no other way.. I was afraid of it, but it was the only solution I saw to this situation and I hoped that it was the right decision.

"Who is the fucking queer here?" Jens continued to yell "It's me, I am gay," I said. Finally. Jens' head turned to me, puzzled, then he recollected himself, for it seemed that he did not expect me to answer his question. "Are you happy now??" I heard myself shouting with a shaky voice. I was feeling weird, feeling helpless, vulnerable and really bad somehow, and I could feel how there was a lump in my throath. I felt how tears were welling inside of me, and I tried hard to control myself, but it seemed as if it was not possible. Daniel and Georg were still in a stun, though in both faces fear had been replaced by an expression of wonder. "You fucking fag! I.. I can't believe it!" he shouted from his place and I felt anger and pain. I felt so helpless, I felt exposed, stripped, naked, and I wished I was dead at that point. I never wanted to be cussed like that, being cussed for something I had no control over. I felt so terrible and I wished so hard that I wasn't ever born. I wished that Georg would hold me, that he would probably stand up for
me, but I somehow knew that I could not expect it from him. "We should get this ass-fucker out of the apartment, he.. he..," Jens continued his speech of hatred, and I stood up, with tears rolling down my cheeks, for which I hated myself even more and I ran to my room as fast as I could. I slammed the door behind me and slowly sunk to the ground, weeping there, and praying for this time to go over either soon, or for death welcoming me..either way.. i would have been happy. It was unbearable.. Jens was my friend.. Or was supposed to be my friend.. and now he was cussing me. What was with the rest? Would everybody cuss me? Why did this all have to happen??

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" I heard a voice trough the door, distracting me from my pity. I raised my head and pressed my ear against the door, trying to sort out whose voice it was. I realized that it was not Jens voice.. Whose voice was it then? "If I ever hear you bashing Kaneda like that again, I will rip you apart, do you understand?"

It was Kevin.

There was no response.

"To ALL of you, if any of you morons harm Kaneda in any way, may it be physical or psychological, he'll get a PHYSICAL treatment by me, understood?" My eyes were still watering, but I already felt a bit better, that there was at least one guy who stood by me. But why wasn't it Georg?

Why did not Georg stand up for me?

I heard how somebody knocked the door.

"Kaneda? Everything.. alright there..?"

I did not reply, though I knew it was Kevin. I stood up and moved to my bed where I just sat down "Kaneda.. can I come in.. please?" "Yes," I said with a shaky voice, snotting a bit into my sleeve which was plain disgusting but I could have cared less at that moment. Kevin opened the door slowly, poking his head in, and then slowly moving towards the bed, "Hey jerk, everything alright with you?" he said, taking a seat right next to me.

"..."

Kevin put his arm around me and drew me closer to himself. Somehow it felt good. Where was Georg, the man I needed.. the man I loved? "I am not going to let these bastards get you.. You're safe with me here," he said into my ear. "Come on, Kaneda, you like guys, so what? I like girls, so what? I mean what the.. Jens is an archaic narrowminded relict from the last century, you know, guys like him will extinct someday."

I smiled at that one. Kevin was really idealistic.

"Hey at least you lighten up."

"Thank you Kevin, I don't know what to say.."

"You don't need to say anything.."

I turned towards him and gave him a hug, which he returned.

"Can I come in?"

I looked back to the door and saw Georg standing in the doorframe. I could see how guilty he felt, his eyes were mirrors to his soul and they told me in detail what he felt.

"Yeah," I said, giving him a small smile. He came over and Kevin looked at him with a threathful look. Georg stood in front of me, looking at me with his puppy eyes, which I simply loved. I was not angry with him anyhow.. or anymore, but if I had been angry, his eyes would have made me forget the anger in no time. "I am so sorry Kaneda," he said with a low shaky voice, nearly whispering. He dragged me gently up from the bed (by now I felt like a puppet) looking into my eyes for some seconds, and then he kissed me for a minutes or two, ignoring the fact that Kevin was sitting there right on my bed and that everybody would know now that he was gay aswell.

"You did not need to.. drop your cover Georg," I said, when we broke our kiss, really meaning it. I felt that it was enough that I did, but he really didn't need to, nobody would have suspected him to be gay anyhow.

"No.. I am sorry for being a coward, Kaneda, and am sorry for not standing with you... damn I love you so much," he said, then shouting, "did you ALL HEAR IT? I LOVE KANEDA! HE IS MY MAN, AND NOBODY DARE HURT HIM!" he said and then his voice broke. "Can you forgive me Kaneda, I was supposed to be by your side,.." Georg said, tears running down his face, "I.. I would do anything for you,..

I would die for you,.. I..," he was mumbling and sobbing. It was unbearable for me seeing him like that, so I placed my finger on his lips and kissed him gently. "ssht..I did this for you, I did not expect you to stand by me," looking at Georg and trying to comfort him somehow since I did want to stand him by my side though; my voice was also very shaky. "Kevin did a good job," I said and turned around and gave Kevin another big hug.

Kevin, who had watched us the whole time was speechless by now and he really looked puzzled.

"So.. you guys are.. together?"

"Yeah.. " Georg said and held me tight to himself.

Kevin's face lit up again and a smile shone on his face. "That's really good for you two, I think you.. errr.. match, jerks!" We both started to laugh, but I was sure that it must have sounded a bit weird for we were still trying to compose ourselfes. "Can I come ... in?" It was Daniel's voice from outside the room. "Sure Daniel, come in," Georg said. Daniel was standing in the doorframe having a look of guilt on his face. I looked at him and gave him a sign that everything was okay. I hoped that he got what I wanted to say cause I thought that it was absolutely NOT necessary for him to step out of the closet aswell. If he wanted to, then it was okay... but if he did not and he felt as if it was an obligation to him that he needed to tell about himself then I wanted him to hold back his horses.

"Are you okay Kaneda?" Daniel said, with concern in his voice. He came closer and hugged me aswell.

"Woohah! If outing means that one gets hugged by his friends, one should always tell that one is gay," I said and laughed.

Daniel broke apart and the four of us were standing in the room looking at each other.

"It's good to see that everybody cares about you Kaneda, and even better that Georg the hunk is your .. err.. well boyfriend, so I think I can calm down a bit.. but still.. as long as I am around, nobody will hurt neither you, nor Georg.. though I think he can protect himself."

"Thanks Kevin.. but did you just hint that you think I am helpless?" I said tackling Kevin down on the bed and tickling him. "Stop it Kaneda!! I am going to wet my pants!" "I think I wanna see that," I continued to tickle him until he was breathing so unregularly that I felt it would be better to stop. "At least... you're.. back.. to... normal...I suppose," Kevin said, with long gaps and breathing between the words.

Georg hugged me again, and then all of a sudden he walked out of the room.

I looked at Kevin and he looked at me. Daniel aswell looked at me, quite puzzled.

Suddenly we heard a slap and how Jens squeaked.

"You fucking gay bastard, what was that for!" we heard him say.

"You know what it was for, and Jens my man, you'll taste now how a gay man beats the shit out of you!"

Kevin and I both looked in a frenzy to each other and rushed out to the living room, where we saw Georg holding Jens by the collar with the left hand getting ready for his first blow.

"STOP IT!" I shouted.

Georg looked over to me, his face full of hatred, "He deserves it Kaneda, you know he does!"

"No! I don't want you to steep down to his level Georg, you're far better than him, look... let him live in his little hateful world," I said.

Georg was still holding him and his other hand was clenched to a fist. I was certain that Jens' face would have been reshaped by this special treatment. "Come on Georg, let him go.. everything is okay now. I know now who my friends are and who not.. who gives a fuck about Jens.. or any other homophobic bastard.. let them be."

Georg looked right into Jens' eyes who ducked and closed his eyes, thinking he would feel the first blow now. But instead of the blow, Georg threw him down on the couch and walked over to me.

"Let's go."

Back in our room Kevin was the first one to speak.

"Georg, was cool.. but was not exactly necessary.. I think I had frightened that moron enough."

"He had cussed Kaneda.. I can't let him get away with it.."

"It was nice of you Georg," I said, giving him a hug.

"What about going out of this place, let's have something to eat in Joe Penas! I am going to invite you guys!" Kevin said. I was surprised by all this welcomeness of Kevin, I mean.. I had not expected him to be this 'happy happy' and 'cheerie cheerie' about the thing, neither I had expected Jens to be so homophobic. Both of them had surprised me, the one in a positive and the other in a negative way. I wanted to know what it was all about for I felt that there was more behind it then it seemed. But right now was really not the time I wanted to discuss that out with Kevin, this had time, and I would certainly ask him later on. Just the same with Daniel, I also needed to talk with him, and I was sure that he also wanted to talk with me. He would have to wait aswell I suppose. "Kevin, I think this suggestion was the best you've ever made.. well after this apartment of course.." I said grinning at him. In no time the 4 of us were out of the apartment leaving the one homophobic idiot and the guy who stirred up all this outing behind us.

It was better like that, I was unable to bear Jens face at the moment, and I secretly wished that Georg hadn't listened to me and just beat the shit out of him. I know it was a mean thing to think.. but hell! The stuff he said was far too heavy for me. I never expected it. It didn't take us too long to get to this Mexican Restaurant and I hadn't had mexican food for some time so only thinking about it made me feel like I could eat everything they have there in the restaurant. Georg and I we both walked very close to each other, while Daniel and Kevin were in front of us talking.

The Restaurant was quite packed, but for some odd reason there was exactly one table for 4 persons vacant. Sometimes I really thought that this could not be conincidence.. I mean.. we needed a table for 4 persons and got one? Sometimes such stuff is so unlikely but it still happens. Such things always made me believe in some higher being, in a good-willed higher being.

"So what are we going to take?"

"Kevin, well, why don't you pick something for all of us?" Georg suggested.
I looked at Georg making a face that I wanted to order myself and he just smiled back.

"Okies, will do so."

Kevin ordered the stuff and then he searched his pockets for his cigarrettes. "So, since when are you guys actually together? I mean.. I did not notice a fucking thing!"

"We're together like.. hmm when was it..?"

"We found out in the cinema, we watched 'Blast from the Past' or something.. and there we found out about each other.. That was like 2 days before we moved into that apartment of yours.. You wanna hear the full story?" Georg asked.

"Yeah jerk, go for it," Kevin said, exhaling some smoke. Georg started to tell Kevin our story leaving out some details which we both knew they wouldn't like to hear, or probably he would not like to hear. From time to time I butted in and added things he had forgotten. All in all Georg did a good job. "Jerks.. I am 100% sure now that you guys belong to each other.. you both make a real matching couple."

"Thanks Kevin.. well, can I ask you something?"

"Sure jerk, go on..?"

"I just wondered how come that you are so open minded towards people like us.. I mean, you're like really welcoming it." "I somehow knew this question would come," Kevin said with a grin, looking to the roof and making small rings of smoke with his mouth. "So..?"

"Well.. it has something to do with my past."

"We're listening," Daniel said exstatically, in full anticipation of the story.

"Hey hey, it's not that exciting Daniel, calm down.. Anyhow..In the 8th grade of school there was a guy who was transferred to our class. His parents had moved from some other city to this one here and it was his first day."

Kevin extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray and continued.

"If I remember correctly it was Physics class, and guys, you can believe it, that we there simply prayed for some distraction. And just in the moment when I got so bored that I thought that I might die, the room to the lab opened with the principle and this young boy in front of him. Not that we were any older, but well, I still see him as the young guy."

"What happened to the guy?!" Daniel blurted out. I was somehow shocked by Daniel's behaviour. It was somewhat childish.. As if his curiosity was killing him.

"Ssht Daniel, let Kevin continue," I said, giving him a smile. Daniel quickly smiled back and his eyes got fixed again on Kevin's face. Kevin grinned and inhaled. "Well, the principle introduced the kid, his name was Erik, and told us that from now on he would be in our class. As I looked at Erik I could tell that he was different. Something was really different with him. I did not understand what it was in the beginning but later on I realised. Erik was gay and he did not make any attempt to hide it. Nearly all his Notebooks were covered with Pictures from guys, especially a guy from NKOTB seemed to be his favorite.. hey.. does anybody know who NKOTB is/are?"

"Uh.. New Kids On The Block..?" Georg said, with a slightly puzzled face.

"Yeah man! Actually they rocked. I was a fan of them too, .. rememeber their song 'Hanging tough'?"

"Sure we do.. I think every kid liked it back then," I said, rememebering that I also had liked them.

"Anyhow, Erik knew that he was gay back then.. I mean, hell, puberty had just started for me then, and this guy was actually very mature, he exactly knew what he was and what he wanted. Of course back then I did not understand what made him mature in contrast to me. I was immature and did not understand too much about anything. Well, After a couple of weeks 'The Gang' started bullying him. Calling him names and stuff. Like assfucker, cocksucker and other stuff.. I think I do not need to go into details," Kevin said. "Thing is that they after a year of bullying him things got intense. The whole school knew that he was gay, and some of those guys would cuss him without knowing him at all. I mean, they did not know how he was but they would just cuss him cause everyone from 'The Gang' did. Erik isolated himself, and there was actually noone who would talk or chat with him, he had no friends, nobody would sit next to him or anything. The whole time long I was not any better, and I myself never treated him any better. I mean... well.. I was an idiot aswell."

Kevin searched his pockets again for a cigeratte and lit it.

"In 10th grade we had a one weeks trip to a little town in Bavaria. And there on this trip things escalated. All the guys were running after chicks and doing the usual stuff, Erik wouldn't participate, which was natural for him. But one day on that trip, " he stopped and inhaled a huge amount from his cig, "things escalated. Some guy accused him of making an attempt on him in the shower. I still don't believe that it was a right accusation, I mean.. I did not know Erik too much but it seemed ridiculous that he would make an approach or any sexual attempt to those homophobic idiots. The result was, that the guys gathered and beated the shit out of him in the shower. He was naked and they beated him without any mercy," Kevin said with somewhat shaky voice," I mean.. that guy was helpless.. I was standing there watching, I did not do anything to stop them. Kaneda.. I cannot forget how he looked after they were done with him. His face was full of bruises, his thighs were black, his stomach also, his arms were bleeding as was his nose and mouth. His .. his.. dick was swollen.. I mean they even kicked his balls.."

Kevin paused again and I felt as if he was trying to compose himself.

"The teachers had found out for heavens sake pretty early, but Erik's condition was very bad. They called an emergency helicopter which took him to a hospital. This was the last day I had seen Erik. And this was the first day I felt endless guilty. I felt guilty for not helping him or stopping the others from beating him. Our teacher informed us that Erik's parents had decided to transfer him to another school. We were scolded for several weeks. The principal had assigned every one of us extra hours of 'Ethics'. Well whatever, I do not want to talk about the punishment we received. That was and is rather unimportant. What I realised was, that I was a spineless chicken. I had decided to go along with the masses and in this way contributing to the beating. I realised how wrong my behaviour was and I vowed myself that I wouldn't ever let such a thing happen again. Neither physically nor psychologically."

I was baffled by this story and quite speechless. I felt bad for Erik and I felt hate for those guys who had beaten him. What was wrong with this world? Why would such stuff happen? How could people be so cruel..

How was it possible for a human being to develop so much irrational hatred to nearly kill somebody else?

Kevin extinguished the cigarrette and looked at us.

"Well.. I know, I was a chicken."

"No man, you couldn't have done too much, you were one kid against so many.."

"No Daniel, you cannot see it that way,.. If I had just the guts to lift my voice, probably others would have followed. I think that there must have been others who felt like me.. But all of us .. we all were too afraid of what would happen to us.. that they would start bashing us I suppose.. so I was a coward back then.."

Daniel remained silent. It seemed that he did not know what to say on that.

"Kevin whatever, listen, you're a good guy okay? And you've shown your golden heart to us, to me," I said, patting his shoulder.

"..."

"Common man... let's have some fun.. how's Sabina doing?"

Kevin's face lit up at her name. "She's fine. She's preparing for some sort of intermediate exam so she is a bit busy today and we cannot meet. And she hates it when a bunch of guys either watch X-Files or Soccer with their cans of beer in their hands." The 4 of us laughed and in that moment the waiter came with our dinner. The food was excellent and after another hour chatting we decided to return home. There was no light turned on in the apartment. Kevin looked at me, then turned around and he switched on the light. The living room was deserted and the cans of beer and all the stuff were lying around. Kevin decided to check out Yilmaz and Daniel's room. He knocked and then opened the door.

"Yilmaz, where's Jens?"

"Dunno."

He shut the door behind him and made a "who-cares" gesture. As I looked at the clock I realised that it was already 11.30pm and we had some classes pretty early the next day. "Kevin, I think we will hit the sack."

"Sure, I am tired myself," he said and went into his room. Georg and I we walked into our room and Daniel was following us.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure you can Dan,"

He shut the door behind himself and before I could say something he ran over and hugged me so hard that I was unable to breath. "Wow wow.. stop it Dan, I cant breath anymore.." "Thanks Kaneda.. you're a true friend man, you really are.. I love you man," I took his last sentence in a friendly way and just smiled at him.

"No Problem."

"Oh man, and it was all my fault, you know I am so sorry, I should have been more careful! And Georg, I also wanna apologise to you cause because of me you got outed.. I am really sorry," he said going over to him.

"It's okay Daniel, I mean no big deal."

"Daniel, you can decide yourself what you wanna do, I mean you're covered by us now, you don't have any reason to out yourself if you dont want to."

"Yeah Kaneda, all thanks to you.. and to you too Georg. Georg.. you're really not angry with me?"

"No man, I am not," he said, holding me from behind and wrapping his arms around me, "It's all cool. I've my man.. all we need to do now is to get you a decent guy."

The 3 of us started to laugh for a while.

"Okay, I dont want to disturb you further,.. so I'll leave.. good night!" He turned around and walked out of the room, closing the door behind himself.

"What a day!" I shouted.

"Yeah.. "

"Georg, " I said, turning around and kissing him softly on his tender lips, "I love you so much.. I am happy to have you, you're my hero."

"No man, you are -my- hero and I think Daniel's too," he said with a serious voice," you protected both of us from being exposed.."

"You would have done the same.."

"..the same? I was in the same situation man, and I didn't have the guts," Georg said and sat down on the carpet, holding his hands in front of his face. I couldn't see him feeling guilty. Wasn't everything over anyhow? I was fine, he was fine.. everything was fine, wasn't it? I slowly lowered myself and wrapped my arms in a soft movement around him. "Why don't we forget it Georg.. everything is alright now."

He didn't respond. I could feel, see and sense that Georg was feeling bad for his lack of actions earlier. Even if I was angry with him, I could not stay angry with him. Who could have been angry with him anyhow?

I cuddled up to him and hold him tighter to myself. He slowly began to move and turned around. I would never forget the look on his face he had that time. He looked up to me with his watered blue eyes and a tear ran down his cheek. The emotions on his face were saying more than words could express. He did not need to say anything. God, this guy was torturing himself.. and he was doing that because of me.. because he was feeling guilty. I wiped the tear off of his face and ran my hand trough his hair. Georg placed his head on my chest and closed his eyes while I kept stroking his hair.

"I am sorry Kaneda," he said sobbingly.

"Don't be man,.. I hope you know that I am not angry or upset with you," I said and rested my head on his shoulder. "I just love you.. I love you without any limits."

"I love you more than my life.. and I will never be such a coward again.. I swear.."

"ssht Georg.. you aren't a coward.. you're the greatest guy I know..

ssht.. let's forget about that."

We must have been sitting there for a couple of hourse I suppose.. I was not really noticing how time went by. I had all I wanted. I had this guy, my lover, my soulmate, resting his head on my chest and I was stroking his soft hair gently. What else did I need to happy?

Daniel was so happy to have Kaneda as a friend. He really was. Daniel knew that he was unable to cope with it and apparently Kaneda also knew about it. That's why he had stepped in front to protect him. Daniel felt like that he owed Kaneda a lot. Thinking about what happened the day, Daniel stepped into his room, seeing Kevin in the process of changing clothes. He was wearing only his boxers and his lightly haired and greatly defined chest and legs were exposed.

"Hey jerk, what a day.. would you have ever thought that Kaneda and Georg are a couple??"

"No man.. it's a surprise to me too," Daniel said, grinning. Daniel liked what he was seeing and apparently his lower body also responded, so he quickly went over to the bed and sat down, trying to cover his crotch somehow.

"Yeah.. but well, they're both cool, I like them a lot.. now don't get me wrong," Kevin said, "but if you look closely at them, you can see how much they love each other." He grinned over to Daniel and then stepped out of his boxers. Kevin walked trough the room to his drawer, looking for his sweats. Daniel caught a few glimpses at Kevin's uncut dick which aroused him even more and made him feel very uncomfortable.

"Anyhow," he said and turned around, "you know, actually they dont know what they're missing putting this," Kevin held his dick in his right hand," into a nice and wet pussy, harhar," he barked. Daniel looked at him slightly confused and at the moment there was a noticeable bulge in his pants so he twisted around a bit, put a hand in his pants and pressed his dick down under his tigh.

"Yeah man, nothing goes over a good pussy!" Daniel blurted out, without thinking.

"Yeah, but well.. I am happy that they're happy.. that's what counts,"

Kevin said and slipped into his jogging pants, walking over to his bed with his back to Daniel.

This was the second Daniel seized and he got up, with a full erection, grabbing his shorts from the chair walking straight to the door. "Going to the toilet,"

"Yeah jerk.. have a nice dump, turn off the light when you're out." He went to the bathroom and closed the door behind himself. Standing there for some seconds, exhaling. His dick was still hard and he gently started to massage it. That was feeling really good. He walked over to the mirror and started to undress himself slowly. Daniel took off the sweat-shirt he was wearing and after that the T-Shirt underneath. Standing in front of the mirror he examined his nearly smooth chest and pecs. He liked the build he had, and he was quite happy that he was not having too much hair on his upper body. Not that it disturbed him having hair on his body. He just thought that one could not see the outlines of his muscles so clearly with hair. He continued looking at himself and wondered if he was handsome. He looked into his blue eyes trying to figure out if there was anything special to them. The combination of brown hair and blue eyes looked quite good with him, and his edgy chin was accented by them. Daniel himself did not realise that he was looking good. He always thought he looked average or below average. The only part of his body he really liked was his chest.. it was quite defined, not as defined as Georg's was, but sufficient for him to like and to be proud of it. Daniel continued to stand there for some seconds looking at himself bare-chested, with his trousers on. His mind started to wonder if he should change his outfit, his style; he had been skating for ages now, but recently he wasn't skating that
often anymore and was only wearing skaterclothes. He was far too busy with studies and himself, there was nobody he wanted to impress with it anyhow, he did it for himself, it made fun. He wondered how he would look like in different clothes, and not those baggy pants with the
keychains he was always wearing. Maybe he should exchange his Vans with a pair of leather shoes? His skater outfit with a suit? 'No no' he thought and smiled to himself. Daniel started to make some wild gestures in front of the mirror for the sake of it and it made fun for some seconds somehow. Actually one shouldn't get Daniel wrong. He wasn't the narcistic type of guy, he was simply wondering if there would be any guy who would like him.. who would like his looks. Kaneda had apparently chosen someone else over him.. well.. But Kaneda wasn't everybody, was he?

Deep in these thoughts he started to undress himself completely and soon he was standing only in his boxers. He took them also off, revealing his well sized cock. He noticed that he had leaked a bit and that the head of his dick was wet from precum. Kevin's body aroused Daniel and he always felt bad for feeling that way. He grabbed the shorts and stepped into them, getting back to his room, finding the light on and Kevin kneeling in front of his bed looking for something.

"Thought you wanted to sleep.. what are you doing? Looking for monsters under your bed?" Kevin grinned, "No jerk, looking for your ass there. Seriously. I am looking for that little thing Sabina gave me as a present. I lost it. Damnit. She will kill me. Uhm.. nice body.. and you only skate?"

"Yeah, why.. do you think one doesn't get a body like that when one skates?"

"No man, never thought about it.. but that it can define bodies this way.. who would have believed that."

"You're quite an ignorant Kevin," Daniel said, grinning at him. He walked over to his chair, grabbed the T-shirt and put it on.

"I am deadly tired. Just turn off the light when you're done searching for your 'thing', okay?" Daniel said laughingly.

"Shut up jerk!" Kevin laughed back.

Yilmaz was sitting in his room. Alone. He was wearing only his red shorts with the white crescent on it. It did not affect him too much what had happened earlier but he surely knew that Jens had exagerated. Yilmaz started to play with his golden chain and thought about Kaneda.. he would have never thought that Kaneda was gay.. No.. and that Georg was gay.. How could that be. He hadn't noticed it at all. He actually thought that it was Daniel who was gay. But he was wrong as it seemed. Or was there more to it. How could it be that Kaneda was gay? What was so special about men. Why did he like to sleep with men? What's so interesting in having sex with men? Can't he just jack off Yilmaz thought? If he needs to see a dick why doesn't he look at his own? Yilmaz tried to understand the reasoning behind why one would like to have sex with men. It was illogic to him. He did not understand.